


Lost Pages

by padfootagain



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Marauders, Marauders' Era, Romantic Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 14:02:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16955436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padfootagain/pseuds/padfootagain
Summary: The consequences of writing pieces of diary and losing them in the Library.





	Lost Pages

**Author's Note:**

> This was made for an event on tumblr.  
> The prompt that was asked for Sirius is :  
> 26\. “Is it about me?”  
> It was asked that the reader would lose a piece of her writing about how much she adores Sirius and that the boy would find it…  
> … do I really need to warn you that this imagine is going to be cute?  
> Hope you all like it.

“Hey, Y/N! Catch it!”

You didn’t even look at Sirius, and merely bent to avoid whatever projectile he was sending your way.

You were not really surprised when you recognized the thud noise of an apple crashing onto the ground.

“Hey!” he complained, picking up the apple again and putting it in his pocket

You heaved a sigh, not looking up from your piece of parchment.

“Sirius, I need to finish this essay for McGonagall.”

He let himself fall in the chair next to you.

“Are you working on the essay we have to finish for…?”

“Tomorrow, Sirius. We have to finish this for tomorrow.”

“It’s the morning, we’ve got plenty of time!”

Another student shushed him, and Sirius merely rolled his eyes, leaning in his chair.

“Let’s do something funny,” Sirius tried to tempt you.

But you shook you’re head.

“Sirius, I’m in the Library. Why do you think I came here in the first place?”

“Who knows?”

“I need to work. So you can help me if you wish, but if you just want to distract me, please, leave me alone.”

“You’re no fun.”

“I know. I’m a tyrant.”

“Yeah, I had noticed that.”

An amused smile formed on both yours and Sirius’ lips.

He leaned towards you, crossing his arms on the table and resting his cheek upon his forearms so he could look up at you.

He remained still for a while, looking at you while you worked. Not moving. Not speaking. Just staring at you. He studied this little frown that appeared on your face when you were focused, the way you bit your lip in concentration, your fingers stained with dark ink. A dreamy smile appeared on his lips.

You had a talent to calm him down. He could have stayed there watching you for hours…

And the little blush on your cheeks caused by his stare made him smile even more.

After a while you couldn’t take any more of it, your heart was rushing too much under your ribs now.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” you asked, finally looking at him.

Sirius’ smile doubled in size.

“I wanted you to look at me,” he said.

“Well, I’m looking at you now,” you replied. “So no need to keep staring at me with those puppy eyes of yours.”

He let out a laugh that sounded almost like a bark, drawing glares from the students all around you.

“You’ll never stop joking about this, right?” he chuckled, sitting straighter again.

“How could I ever stop joking about the fact that you can turn into a dog? And a very cute one too.”

“I’m not a cute pup,” he replied, leaning closer to you. “I’m a very scary dog.”

“No, you’re not,” you laughed.

“I am!”

“No, you’re not.”

You finally noticed how close Sirius was to you now. You could feel butterflies flying across your stomach.

A familiar sensation that appeared whenever Sirius was near.

You suddenly backed away, Sirius raising an eyebrow.

You could feel your cheeks burning, and took a look at your watch, fleeing Sirius’s stare.

“I need to go see Remus, he was supposed to help me with Transfiguration.”

“I can give you a hand if you want…” he proposed, but you were already standing.

“No, no, I’ll ask Remus.”

“I’m good at Transfiguration, you know?”

But you ignored him and gathered your parchments, quills and bottles of ink, throwing them in your bag in a hurry.

“Y/N…” Sirius frowned.

“I’m sorry, I need to go.”

Before he could add anything, you were running out of the Library, leaving him sitting there on his own.

He heaved a sigh.

He guessed he had gone too far, he shouldn’t have leaned so much towards you.

He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He looked at the empty chair next to him.

He felt like a part of him had left the room…

He frowned. There was a little piece of parchment under your chair.

He bent down, picking up the little ball of parchment. He guessed that you had dropped it while hurrying out of the Library.

It was just a little piece of parchment that you had turned into a ball in frustration. He guessed that it was an early version of your Transfiguration essay. He unfolded it absent-mindedly. He wasn’t interested in reading it, he just wanted to look at your handwriting, and the thought made him wince. He really was pathetic whenever it came to you…

He looked at the words written on the paper, his brain not caring about the meaning of the letters wrote in dark ink. Until a word hit his eyes…

_Love_

He frowned hard, focusing on the short note.

You couldn’t use such word in an essay…

His eyes grew wider and wider, his lips parting in shock as he read your note. For a moment he doubted that you had written it, but he was sure that it was your handwriting.

He reread the note a second time, but the meaning was still unchanged.

_Maybe I should tell him. Last evening it happened again. He ran into that girl and chatted with her for a while and all I could do was stand there motionless, feeling heartbroken. Although, I know I have no right to feel jealous. We are nothing after all, just friends. Good friends, I guess it is how he would describe our relationship. Best friends even. It’s harder and harder to live like this though, as if I didn’t see anything more in him. But what if he didn’t see the same in me. Is it worth it? Is confessing him that I love him worth taking the risk to lose him? I don’t know what to do anymore. We’re supposed to meet but I’m not sure to go. Or perhaps I should tell him then. We would be alone. If he rejects me, at least I won’t have the public humiliation that could go with it. It could remain our secret, for a while at least._

_Note to self : Check if he is currently trying to get a date with a girl. After all, Hogsmeade is just one week away._

Sirius could hardly breathe. Surely he hadn’t understood this right…

But he read the note one more time thoroughly and the meaning was once again the same as before.

You were in love.

And if he could pick up the clues right, you were… you were in love with _him_?

After all, who else could you be meeting tonight. It was a tradition between the two of you, to take a snack at the kitchens on every Wednesday and talk about your day, the beginning of your week, sometimes even your weekend, depending on the amount of time you had been able to spend together the days before.

A smile slowly formed on his lips, that quickly turned into a grin. He could feel that you were special, that your relationship with him was strong. He trusted you. He trusted you with his life. He knew the nature of his feelings for you, it had taken him some time to finally admit them to himself, but now he was fully aware of them and it was…

It was strange to think that you could feel just the same…

He suddenly stood up, and walked out of the Library, taking the Marauder’s Map out of the pocket of his robes.

He needed to see you right away…

—————————————————————————–

You were sitting there, in the empty corridor. You were watching the raindrops falling and colliding with the dirty glass of the windowpane. You heaved a sigh, resting your head against the cold stone of the wall behind you.

You needed to do something about Sirius and you.

You couldn’t keep on running away from your feelings. Yes, he was your best friend. Yes, you needed him in your life. No, you didn’t want to lose him. Yes, you were terrified but… but you couldn’t keep on hiding your feelings for him.

You loved him, and there was no doubt to have.

You closed your eyes, a sad expression on your face.

You started at the sensation of something soft against your hand, your eyes snapping open. But you merely heaved a relieved sigh at the sight of the large black dog that had appeared by your side.

“Really, the boys were right to call you _Padfoot_ … how can you be so damn silent when you walk as a dog?”

Sirius merely brushed his head against your hand again, and again, and again until you finally gave in and started to scratch his head and ears. He barked contently, making you smile.

But this smile of yours didn’t reach your eyes. So he rested his paws on your thighs and licked your cheek, knowing it always made you laugh.

And it didn’t fail this time again.

“Sirius, stop! That’s disgusting!” you complained, trying to push him away, but he only licked your face even more fervently.

Soon you were laughing so hard, his tongue tickling you, you could hardly breathe.

“I’m not sad! I’m not sad! Sirius, stop!”

He finally had mercy, and while you were catching your breath, he turned into a boy again.

“Do you promise me that you’re not sad?” he asked, smirking.

“Yes, I promise,” you nodded, smiling.

“Good, because I can’t see you sad.”

“How did you find me?” you asked.

“The map.”

“I should have known,” you rolled your eyes.

But now that you had calmed down, you couldn’t manage to ignore the feeling of Sirius’s hands still resting on your thighs and it was not butterflies that floated in your stomach then, it was a bloody firework exploding throughout your entire body and sending shivers up and down your spine and your heart beating so fast and…

You took a deep breath, forcing yourself to clear your mind and ignore the feeling of Sirius’s large hands on your legs. You failed miserably.

“I thought you were supposed to see Remus,” Sirius said.

Your faces were so close, he could feel your breath on his lips, and it was so hard for him to keep a casual mask on his face…

“I lied, obviously,” you answered, a sheepish expression painted all over your features.

“Is it because of this?”

He gave you a little piece of parchment, wrapped into a ball, and you recognized it instantly.

You tore it away from his grasp.

“Did you read that?” you breathed, your voice shaking, but you couldn’t control it.

He nodded slowly, resting his hand right above your knee again.

“Sirius!” you cried in an outburst he wasn’t ready for, outrage burning in your eyes. “How dare you?! It was private!”

“Don’t let private notes fall down in the Library if you don’t want random people to read them. You’re lucky I’m the one who read it. At least I won’t give into rumours and you know it.”

You pushed him away from you, getting up in a hurry, and he copied your movements.

But this time when you tried to walk away, he grabbed your arm, stopping you.

You didn’t turn towards him. His hold on your arm was firm, but soft as well, as if he was afraid to hurt you if he tightened his grip too much.

“Let me go,” you breathed.

“Y/N…”

“Sirius, please…”

“No, we need to talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. It’s none of your business anyway.”

You weren’t ready. You weren’t ready to confess your love for him, not like this, not under these circumstances, not in the middle of this deserted corridor, not because he had read this note of yours…

“We both know it _is_ my business though.”

He took a step closer to you, still holding your arm, standing next to you now. But you didn’t look up at him. Your eyes were now set on your shoes instead.

“Y/N…”

But he didn’t know how to talk about this. He wanted to, but he didn’t know how.

“I didn’t know you wrote some kind of… diary. That’s what it was, right?”

You nodded.

“It eases my mind when I’m worried,” you answered, your voice barely louder than a shaky whisper. “Things are easier to deal with once I’ve… turned them into words and put them down on paper.”

There was a heavy silence between the two of you for a while. A still, motionless veil that invaded the corridor and wrapped itself around Sirius and you. But it didn’t separate you. You could still feel his hand on your forearm, and his presence next to you, so close and…

He took another small step towards you, your bodies now so close they almost touched.

“I don’t… don’t really know… how to do this…” he breathed, stuttering, tripping on the words he couldn’t choose.

“We could just… not do it then,” you offered.

But he shook his head.

“We need to. You know we do.”

He leaned towards you, trying to see your eyes, but you merely turned your face away from him.

“Y/N… Y/N, look at me.”

You shook your head, but he took your chin between his fingers, forcing you to stare back at his grey eyes.

“We need to talk about this.”

You didn’t answer, remaining silent. And so he went on, his fingers still brushing your chin and soon wandering across your jaw line, and your heart was beating so fast…

“This note you wrote is it… _Is it about me?_ ”

“What makes you think that?” you asked back, staring in his grey eyes. “Perhaps I was talking about another boy.”

He tore his fingers away from your skin, his gesture so sudden, as if he had been burnt. A flash of fear and pain passed through his grey eyes.

“Really? Is it about someone else?” he asked in a breathy whisper, and his deep voice was urgent, almost desperate. “Who then? You wrote that you were supposed to meet him tonight… but it’s Wednesday, it’s… it’s _our evening._ How could you mean to meet another man than me on a Wednesday night…?”

You didn’t answer, and he suddenly took your head in both his hands, holding your face delicately and yet firmly enough to make sure that he would be able to stare deep into your eyes and see through you until he could stare at your very soul.

“Y/N, it has no sense. It’s about me, right? It’s about me. Y/N, answer me. Is it about me? All you said in that note… is it true?”

But he didn’t you give you enough time to answer all his questions.

“You know what, don’t answer that… don’t answer that… don’t…”

Before you could react, he had crushed your lips together, holding your face close to his. But as he felt your lips moving in perfect sync with his, he knew you had no intention to push him away anyway.

He walked further on until your back collided with the wall behind you, and he pressed himself against you, a hand now lost in your hair, the other resting on your waist. He pinned you against the wall while you ran your fingers through his silky hair.

None of you wanted this to end, but eventually, he rested his brow against yours, both of you shaking slightly, short of breath.

“You were talking about me in this note of yours, right?” Sirius asked again, kissing your closed eyelids and making you shiver. “I hope so because… I feel the same.”

You smiled, his lips now peppering kisses down your cheek and along your jaw line, making your heart beat so fast you were certain it would explode.

“Of course it’s about you, Sirius,” you whispered in his ear. “You’re right, Wednesday night is _our night_.”

He looked at you again, a smile forming on his face.

“I knew it,” he gave you a crooked smirk.

“You didn’t seem so confident a few minutes ago though…”

He laughed, his thumb stroking your cheek tenderly.

“Alright… I may have doubted for a short moment.”

“Not so short though…”

“Well, you’d better not play the clever girl here because, there’s a parameter you haven’t taken into account yet.”

“Really? What is it?”

“Remember your ‘note to self’?”

Your eyes grew wide, and you made a movement to push him away, but he held you tightly trapped between him and the cold wall behind you.

“You said that you felt the same…” you breathed.

“I do,” he nodded.

“But you want to go to Hogsmeade with someone… you already know who you want to invite?”

He nodded again.

“And you’d better be careful, because that girl…”

A grin crossed his face, and you frowned slightly, puzzled.

“That girl is such a sweetheart, she’s an angel really,” he went on, looking at you with a tender glance you had never seen in his eyes yet. “She’s amazing. Funny, brilliant, kind, gentle, brave…”

A small smile formed on your lips as a thought dawned in your mind.

“And… what’s the name of this mysterious girl,” you asked.

“Her name’s Y/N. And really… I’d love to go to Hogsmeade with her. If she wants to, of course.”

“I think she enjoys real dates though, not just an excuse for snogging…”

“Good. Because that’s precisely what I want as well.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

He kissed the tip of your nose, making you giggle.

“I want you to be mine,” he breathed. “If you want this… if you want to give me a chance… then it won’t be just a fling, I promise you that. If you’re certain that you are ready to deal with my shitty self then… I want you to be my girlfriend. Because I would die if I saw another boy touch you and kiss you like I am touching you and kissing you right now. So… deal?”

You nodded.

“Deal. But Sirius, you’re not shitty.”

“I’m fucked up. My childhood fucked me up in so many ways…”

“But you’re stronger than all that. I know it.”

“So you really think that I deserve a chance, right?”

You nodded.

“If you want to take it,” you added.

Sirius laughed.

“I would really be dumb to refuse this.”

You heaved a sigh.

“It took us so long…”

“You’re my best friend,” he shrugged. “I didn’t want to fuck up everything and lose you because I opened my big mouth.”

“You know what I think, Sirius?”

“What?”

“I think it’s shitty to be in love with your best friend.”

He chuckled.

“It’s not that shitty. I know everything about you. And you know me like the back of your hand. We’re just taking our relationship to a new level, although we both know that it’s been here for a while now. For me at least…”

“You know I feel the same.”

You both grinned.

“This is such a crazy idea,” he said, letting his fingertips trace the outlines of your face. “I love this idea… Hell, I love you…”


End file.
